They're coming for our sweatpants

đźš« this is a no hard pants zone đźš«

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TL;DR

  • Amazon’s CEO released a return to office memo this Monday — your sweatpants are at risk.

  • Mondays are back, apparently. How does that make you feel?

  • The world has fallen in love with a pygmy hippo 🥹

Let's talk shop 🔧

deuces ✌️

Not today, satan Amazon!

Surprise! Amazon announced earlier this week that it will return to a mandatory 5-day in-office work week.

The memo from CEO Andy Jassy, titled “Strengthening our culture and teams,” went out early Monday morning — ya know, the day everyone loves getting big news.

Currently, Amazonians (if this isn’t what they call their employees, it should be) have a hybrid work week: 3 days in-office, 2 days remote. Now they have to wave those remote workdays bye-bye, as they’re required to fully return to office starting January 2, 2025.

How did folks react? Well…

And in case you missed it, RTO wasn’t the only change that came out in Monday’s memo. Jassy also announced a move to “flatten” the organization by increasing the ratio of individual contributors to managers by at least 15% by the end of Q1 2025. That “layoffs in disguise” conspiracy theory is growing legs…

🖥️ What else is happening in tech?

  • LinkedIn is using your data to train its AI, and users are automatically opted in. Opt out here.

  • A new UN report proposes a global body to monitor and govern AI to open up international dialogue and reduce harm. That’s right, even the United Nations is talking about AI.

  • I always feel like somebody's watching me. (Because they are.)

Did you hear? We release a daily podcast. 100 episodes and counting…

Let’s dish 🤭

this is who you’re asking to RTO on mondays

Sorry, I’m with Garfield on this one…

Mondays stink.

New data from water cooler brand Bevi (the irony is not lost on us) reveals that more people are coming into the office on Mondays — and not always by choice. Some hybrid offices are starting to require attendance on Mondays as they tweak their RTO policies. (I’m sorry — we needed the water cooler brand to do this hard-hitting research??)

What else did the report find?

  • Tuesday is the busiest day in the office

  • Los Angeles saw a +15% rise in office attendance in 2024 H1, the biggest jump among major cities analyzed

  • Workin’ 9-5? Maybe not! More workers are embracing a flexible schedule that falls outside of traditional work hours.

But you’ll have to rip remote Fridays from our cold, dead hands!!

đź«– What's the tea?

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